Hello There

Old Man Pablo

Yeah, I felt like pulling an Obi-Wan from Revenge of the Sith. Anywho, just wanted to give you guys an update over the first couple months of the year!

A Beautiful Vintage photo of grandma

It has been rough, to be honest. First, I had to get over a cold that my brother was so nice to share (NOT!!!!!!), that knocked me off my feet for quite a bit. Then, Pablo, "my horse", passed away quite suddenly on New Years Day. It hit me hard. Just when I thought I had made my way out of the pit of depression and despair that hat dragged me down for most of the last summer, there I was back in it.



After that, my mom, who had to get radiation on her head since cancer has spread to her skull, started to lose her hair. It's is a bitter pill to swallow. I fear for her.I also fear for myself with all the health issues I have, some of which that are indirectly related to my mom's health issues.



Then, my "WONDERFUL" brother, had to be nice and share the cold that he had never really gotten over before he left on his trip to London With my AGAIN once he came back (yay...) :/



Now, one thing to note is that when I get sick, my immune system might as well be nonexistent, as I am sick for a WHILE. Around this time (the week before Valentine's day, to be exact). We received news that my grandma on my mom's side was not doing well at all. She ended up passing away on February 10th, and her funeral was Valentine's day. The hardest part about this was that I could barely visit her by her bed to keep watch with being sick, without fear of contaminating other residents in her retirement home.



So, it was pretty much right after I had started to accept one loss, I was sucker punched yet again with another, even BIGGER one...



Some days, or most days, I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. When it comes to things like death, though, I realize that I internalize a lot.



It's been hard. I have not wanted to "people" in the weeks since my grandma's funeral, wanting very much to stick with my routine of going to work, and going home to watch my Olympic figure skating and Gonzaga Basketball as I struggled to process what was happening, as well as what had happened.



I am, to be quite frank and honest with you all, quite sick of all the curveballs being thrown in the way of me and my family.



I have had the tendency to look to God and say, "Get us the heck out of here!!! We have had enough of this storm!!!!!!!!! If you really loved us, you would let us have some 'calm' waters for once".



Could it be though, that we are too busy being distracted by all that weighs us down that we don't see it when we are in calm waters?



If only we could have A, B, and C work out. Then life would be calmer for us.



At least until the next two by four comes to smack you upside the head, because life just ain't all sunshine and roses!



With being the glass half empty person I am, It has been quite a long time since I felt like I have been in calm waters.



In reality, I have been blessed and am more fortunate than most people.


In other news, in the middle of this last week, I gave myself a kick back into gear, starting to take baby steps working back into the rhythm of accomplishing all the goals I had set for this new year. Which leads me to what I want for this blog.



I have decided to just give you guys the rest of my Christmas story I started, that I ended up being too sick to finish back at that time. You may be rolling your eyes at this, yet if I don't finish it SOON I am almost surely guaranteed to forget about it. It is still winter where I am living, which quite frankly has only made my depression worse. Christmas, Loki's shenanigans, and messing with my characters is something that makes me happy, though, so it is gonna be finished!



Then I am going to finish and post the rest of my "going back in time" Kennedy story I started, well, "back in time".



I have just felt the strong urge to finish things I have started in my writing. As many plot bunnies, I have running around in my head at the moment, they are going on the back burner until some of my other stories are done.


I want to eventually post this separate short story that sprouted out of my ongoing Ben and Chloe novel as well, about the acapella band's adventure at the Country Music Awards!



So, if things go as planned and yours truly can keep on top of things, hopefully, all these things will happen with this blog!

Yours truly,

the "Emster"